Melancholy Holidays

I could write a small novel on this most recent holiday, but I don't want you fine people to think I have nothing better to do than sit in front of a computer all day long (Nay, it is the television that gives my warming comfort). So, here are my Christmas highlights -- bullet point style.

-- Lunch with Jasmyne -- lovely and thoughtful friend.

-- Documenting the creation of the Deines' first snow-penguin (see picture) while Brian enlightened Eileen on yellow snow.

-- Breaking down Mac's pool table (yes, it's the end of an era) and transferring it to Mike's developing bachelor pad.

-- Finding a way to get Andrew into the Cousin's picture (and he looked better than all of us).

-- Giving Uncle Joel his Thanksgiving picture.

-- Not crying, no matter how many times I had to hide in the bathroom.

-- 24 vol. 4, and Scrubs Vol. 2. Of course I had to mention some presents. It's Christmas.

-- Playing hopscotch with Eileen. I think she was crushing on me a little.

-- Using my brief time on the phone with Andrew to talk about the potential Mark Prior trade. Also, finally being able to ask him how he was, and hearing his response.

-- Being the first out at the Deines poker game, then coming back like a champ at the Rockwells on Christmas Day. Constantly raking.

-- Finding new and imaginative ways of blaming my Uncle Danny for my getting laid off.

-- Bears v. Packers on Christmas Day. Beautiful win.

-- Having a five and six-way conversation on religion and politics with Norm, Dee, and their girls.

-- Learning that the best way to prevent religiosity in your children is to send them to Catholic school.

-- Finding out how much I can sweat as Norm badgered me about my opinion of his daughters (for the record, yes, your girls are gorgeous, Norm. But I've also seen them in diapers, so it takes a minor adjustment to realize one of them is old enough that I needn't feel creepy about saying so.)

-- Two families (Rockwells and Andersons crammed behind my recliner as I attempt to take our picture with the camera facing me. I would love to post that picture, unfortunately I ended up looking like Uncle Fester strapped to an electric chair. And after my admission in the previous bullet point, can you honestly expect me to volunteer such a horrifying representation of myself? If I had that little pride I would have kept the White Trash Stache (is it wrong that I kind of miss it?)

Of course all of these highlights are simply my effort to find something good in the first Christmas where I sat alone on my parents' couch to open presents. There was no stocking of silly Happy Meal toys. No evenly distributed presents. No snarky ribbing of mom and her militaristic Christmas tree ettiquette. We burned through that experience as fast as we could, as if the faster we went the less we would notice Andrew's absence. Needless to say, it didn't work.

Andrew, I miss you. If the amount of misdirected anger around here is any indication, I miss you a lot. But I'm proud of you and I admire your courage. Stay smart and come home safe so you and I can once again sit on the couch and give mom some shit; she needs it.

Merry Christmas, Baby Bro. And here's to a speedy 2006.

My Best Christmas Pics

Silly Rabbit

In an earlier post I said I always get to see two beautiful girls over Christmas.

Well, I miscounted. I totally forgot about this heartbreaker.

I have more Xmas pictures to come, but this one demanded immediate attention.

G.I. Joe and Mr. Jolie

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't posted anything in the past couple of days. It's true. I have been away, and honestly it's cause I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say to a bunch of guys who were thrilled, THRILLED at getting every Brad Pitt movie on DVD. Now, I like Ocean's 11 as much as the next guy, but Cool World? There's just no excuse for that. Although that might explain why he got 150 DVD's for a C-note (a hundred dollars for those of you not down).

Seriously though, I should say something about what's really important here. And that's the fact that my brother is finally going to partake and that holiest of holies... 24. Finally, after much grandstanding my brother and I can share in Jack Bauer's many adventures. Now, if I could just get a certain aunt and uncle (you know who you are) to finish up season 3 and get on to season 4. It's the best yet.

I suppose some of you would expect me to say something about my brother's trials in his first week in Iraq, but I don't need to.

He said it best: "I'm invincible."

I'd ask any of you who know him well to argue with his assessment.

Checks and Balances in the 21st Century

I'm not a political alarmist. I listen to my fair share of Air America, and while I enjoy listening to thoughtful people who come closer to my personal sensibility, so much of the liberal handwringing is ineffectual and often beside the point. Finding out how much congress and the American people were misled before the war in Iraq is irrelevant now. If it wasn't deliberate malfeasence on the part of the administration, then it was incompetence; pick one, they're equally troubling, and neither of them will help us solve our current situation.

Yet, Randi Rhodes and those like her on progressive radio will not let the past go (much like Right Wing radio returns to Bill's BJ whenever they're backed into a cornere). Liberals continue to pummel the dead horse of Bush's questionable election wins. They dwell on all of the administration's past mistakes without offering any solutions to our current quandries. We need visionaries right now. Not sour grapes.

And this week has revealed how dire that need is. Like I said, I'm not a political alarmist, but a number of stories broke in rapid succession this week (many hidden on the back pages) that intensified my malaise towards the next three years of W's rule. There's a sense of helplessness right now for many Americans. We're trapped in Iraq, at the will of the administration's obstinate rhetoric. Meanwhile, they continue to bend and break laws behind the immunity of power and secrecy, all in the the name of homeland security.

First this week comes news that officials at the Pentagon were secretly surveilling groups adversarial to the administration. Some of these groups, including an anti-war group gathering at the Quaker Meeting House in Lake Worth, FL to protest military recruitment in high schools, were small neighborhood activist groups who were being observed under the pretense of home security. Another group, the (no shit) Raging Grannies, were also under surveillance. Well, I guess if they can't tell that Granny doesn't have a bomb in her shoes at the airport, why should the Pentagon be any different?

This week also showed that even when congress posts a win for personal freedoms, killing an extension to the Patriot Act, it is clear that the administration will continue to act as it sees fit from outside the purview of congressional approval. The New York Times broke a story that Bush authorized the NSA to spy on hundreds of Americans within the United States. Because of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act passed in 1978, domestic spying is unlawful without a warrant. What Bush did was essentially eliminate the need to obtain a warrant. This by itself wouldn't alarm me. As Bush stated, these wiretaps were mainly to observe people with ties to Al Qaeda, and I'd gladly give him the benefit of the doubt here. But paired with the Pentagon's secret database on anti-war groups, these stories reveal both the ability to circumvent the law and a desire to keep tabs on those who oppose this administration. As if that weren't enough, Bush then conducted a live radio address in which he praised the program, vowed to continue it, and then criticized the New York Times for divulging the existence of the program.

This response from the President is staggering. Not only does he admit to stepping around the law, but he also promises the practice will continue. Then the cherry on the sundae, the criticism of the press. I know the Bush administration is allergic to accountability, but they're not even being coy about it anymore. Of course, the free press is only free so much as it makes the case for Bush's myopic agenda (see the propaganda machine currently uncovered in Iraq). I guess covering your true nature for so long has to be hard (it's why I quit my bartending job), and the wolf is clearly starting to itch inside the sheep's clothing.

Three more years of the wolf. Three more years.

God Bless America!

Wal-Mart is arguably the largest economic parasite alive in America today. It decimates local businesses and takes advantage of its workers (it is the largest employer of workers on welfare in the country and it does its best to keep workers there) all for the sake of low prices. Of all the things that Wal-Mart is guilty of this is what people are picketing the store for. This is the type of priority problem that put Big Brother in the White House for four more years.

Fun With Follicles

When you work in a freezer where -2 degrees Farenheit is considered a balmy day, you'll do anything to keep warm. I have at least $500 dollars of different cold weather gear in my closet that I bought to keep my toes and fingers from breaking off amidst the Popeye's chicken. And in addition to the clothing, I discovered that a shaggy beard is quite efficient in keeping the cheeks toasty. So, up until I got laid off this week I had not shaved since the middle of November. Part of shunning of the razor was for warmth, and part of it was some lazy/inspired decision that I was going to go hobo for the year my brother was away: not shave or cut my hair. I don't know what kind of perverse dedication this was, but it offered me some good cheer.

So, after nearly a month without shaving I had developed quite the Grizzly Adams, but in the two days I've been unemployed I realized that there were at least a couple reasons why refusing to maintain my hair would be ill-advised. First, I had to look nice for prospective employers. Second, and most importantly, over the holidays I will get to spend time with two of the most stunning and remarkable girls I've had the pleasure of knowing in my life. I only get to see them once (if I'm lucky twice) a year, and there's no way I'm going to leave them with a Shaggy dog image of me till next Christmas.

So confronted with this monstrosity of a facial forest and an extremely boring Saturday, I decided I was going to have some fun. So, here is what I came up with to cheer my brother's spirits in his first days in Iraq. I call it the Trailer Trash Stache, courtesy of Trucker Phil.



I'm sorry if I may have to depart with this magnificent specimen before I see many of you at Christmas, but like I said -- two beautiful girls. Still, I think I'm going to keep it for a while just because it makes my dad really, really uncomfortable. And that always makes me laugh.

Oh, and Brian. I know you're having a problem with that disappearing chin. Well, from the looks of that photo I have one to spare, so we'll see what we can work out on Christmas.

Yeehaw!

Join the Fray

Ok, so I know this site hasn't been without visitors (including my brother) so I thought I'd remind everybody who visits here to feel free to comment on any of the posts I make. Just click on comments at the end of the article and you can say whatever you like. Encouragment for Andrew. Requests (or job opportunities)for me. Whatever. Andrew and I are really using this blog as a journal for this year of deployment, and it'd be great if we knew what was going on in each of your lives as well. I know that my adjustments are probably different from everybody else's. So feel free to drop a quick note the next time you come by.

This is What I'll Miss

I came across this picture on my cousin's site, and it nearly made me cry. This was my favorite moment of the Thanksgiving holiday. Two pairs of brothers -- Andrew and myself, Lee and Brian -- four extremely thoughtful, eloquent young men talking politics, sharing some Cubans Brian brought back from his honeymoon. That is what I'll miss most.



As far as my peers go (I have to exclude uncles and aunts, etc. in this or I'll undercut my point), I can count on one hand the number of people who I simply enjoy talking to. Not chatting with. But talking. Hours and hours, late into the night. Deep stuff. Not so deep stuff. My cousin Brian is an extremely intelligent guy, and yet his blog title refrences the quality of a good shit. That's a wondeful mind.

My brother has a great mind too, and one distinctly different from my own (probably why we didn't get along in high school). I think many people who know me think that I am quite narrow-minded when it comes to people with whom I disagree. Not so. They just have to be thoughtful. I have to see evidence in their dialogue that they aren’t just espousing what their parents said, or what the media said, or what the Bible said. My brother and I have very different minds, and we do tend to disagree. But I’ll always listen to him because of his knowledge and his thoughtfulness. I wish more people possessed those qualities.

Is He Serious?

Boy, my brother has put a lot of pressure on me. Not only does he expect me to explain the significance of the "drawdown" of U.S. soldiers, I'm supposed to be humorous? Well, you can read what Rumsfeld says about troop reductions, but for those who tend to need a nap after reading I'll see if I can break it down for you.

To call it a troop reduction is a little misleading. For starters, the number of troops in Iraq has steadily increased from around 137,000 to 160,000 in anticipation of an escalation of violence leading up to next week's elections. If things go well with the elections (which is an enormous if at this point), that number could drop back to around 137,000. In addition to that drawdown, several units originally planned for Iraqi deployment are being redirected to Germany and Kuwait as fast response teams should they be needed. This move seems too sensible and politically savvy for the Bush administration, but I think it will play well for them. They need to reduce the number of troops in Iraq, but they know that withdrawal is not an option right now. So, they pull some battalions out and station them somewhere close, and then they can tout lower number of troops specifically in Iraq with the option of immediate redeployment if the [poo] hits the fan. Therefore, it feels like a withdrawal of sorts, and will probably be spun into one by the Bush administration, but we're clearly still as entrenched as we've always been.

It's going to be interesting these next couple months as Andrew gets into his mission, while Iraq either lifts itself up or tears itself down around its newfound "democracy."

Huron on Hold

Ok. I can't swallow my pride. As much I wanted to churn out a really great sci-fi adventure for my brother, my first week of writing produced, what they call in the writing industry, ass. So, with my brother reading Slaughterhouse Five and A Clockwork Orange (one of my all-time favorite books), I much prefer the idea of expanding his base of literature rather than showing him how bad writing can look straight out of my feeble brain. So, the next great sci-fi epic will wait, and instead I'll devote my time to adding more writing and more resources to this site for you fine folks to utilize. For my brother, I'm in charge of your library, little man. So, buckle up. You have no idea what you're in for. Ever heard of Tristram Shandy?

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

At the insistance of my brother, I finally took mom to see the new Harry Potter film, and he was absolutely right. It's the best of the four. For the first time, the word "epic" defines a Harry Potter film. Equally the scariest, most adult, and funniest of the series, Goblet bodes well for this ever-darkening series. The debut of Voldemort, the most important moment of the series so far, inspires chills, and the leads continue to mature into delightful actors. Rupert Grint's Ron Weasley steals nearly every scene he's in, and his brothers follow suit. All in all, highly recommended, as my brother said.