The End of the Longest Year

Even after falling off the face of the earth for the last three months of 2006, I can't help but look back at my bountiful contributions to the blogosphere this past year and marvel that I had so much free time on my hands. Yes, as the year wore on my voracious appetite for the clatter of a keyboard diminished as my life got busier and my brother got safer, but as I look back on the year that was, I am overcome by the many trials both myself and my loved ones endured in the most tumultuous year I can recall.

To give you proper perspective on how far we've come this year, I'll direct you to my first blog of 2006. Only a handful of people have ever seen this post. I posted it on a blog I coyly described as my "black site," a blog separate from The Longest Year that constituted my own personal essays that were too "gloom and doom" for the site I set up for my family. My cousin Brian knew about it. My friend Jasmyne knew about it. And my brother knew about it. But that's it. I'm sharing it now only because a year of hindsight and perspective would likely soften the gravity of my family's situation last December. But my less prescient avatar of a year ago brings it all back.

At this time last year I was unemployed, having recently been laid off from an unbearable job in the Thoms Proestler warehouse that only exacerbated my malaise over my brother's deployment to Iraq. My only solace came from my Playstation that efficiently whittled away the hours in my day as well as contributing to an unprecedented and unsightly weight gain. I reached the pinnacle of my girth at 235, the highest weight I've ever tallied -- including my ramen obsessed college years. And with all this going on, I know you are all shocked -- SHOCKED -- to learn I was also a bachelor. Any other doubts about my dire situation at the start of 2006? Take a look at my birthday present from the city of Rock Island. And the fact that my birthday comes the month after Christmas is no excuse.

The winter months passed with no change on the employment front, but what was disastrous for my bank account proved invaluable in helping my family acclimate themselves to the anxiety of a family at war. As the new year began, my brother and I started having regular conversations over instant messenger. Not only did this afford me the opportunity to update my family with alarming regularity, it also allowed me to compile two "Rolling Stone" articles between myself and my brother (revisit them here and here). Those two stories and one other (which I'll get to later) are three of my favorite pieces I've ever written.

About the time I got a trash can for my birthday, things started to turn around. Not pleased with my ever-expanding ass, I took the lead from my mother and got on Weight Watchers. Since I had inherited her tendency to eat when stressed, I knew that if I didn't get control of my caloric intake I'd make quick work of even my most forgiving elastic waistbands. By the end of the summer I had lost over forty pounds and scratched the surface of the 180's (which I had not seen since high school). Despite a few awkward side-effects to my new eating habits and exercise regimine, I shaved off my extra chin and I'm proud to say it has not grown back despite my slightly increased gluttony over the holidays (you try saying "No" to mom's broccoli casserole).

After a couple months playing biographer for my brother, good fortune finally came my way on March 22nd, when the television station of my youth called to offer me a job. The next day I joined KWQC's studio crew. The fact that I'm working at the number one television in my hometown has become old hat (unless you're impressed by it, at which point I will say "bask in my glorious self-importance"), but after spending four years bartending, warehousing, and retailing, finally getting a job in a medium to which my talents are suited was a godsend. It's led to some of the best moments of my life (as well as a prescription for anti-anxiety medication Three cheers for elevated heart rate!!).

The world of news introduced me to myraid new things, the first of which was MySpace. Within my first month on the studio crew, I joined the social network along with a bevy of my coworkers. I got settled just in time for the infamous Bloggergate -- in which a disgruntled and borderline insane director posted a venomous diatribe about my boss' religious persuasion. The director was suspended for a week and all of us in the studio were gloriously entertained. Aside from centralizing the office gossip, MySpace also served as a tremendous hub for communicating with Andrew and his legions of fans.

And that communication became increasingly important as things in Iraq deteriorated. From the destruction to the Golden Mosque to the burgeoning civil war, we received weekly updates from Andrew regarding the troubling situation. And just when it seemed the US had scored a major victory in the death of al-qaeda in Iraq leader Al-Zarqawi, fate dealt my family a swift backhand. The night after that momentous kill, my brother's humvee hit an IED that obliterated his vehicle and seriously injured both himself and his driver. Naturally, our world stopped as Andrew was put on a plane and sent back to the States. The attack severed a nerve in his leg, an injury that will be with him for the rest of his life. Andrew has adjusted well to the injury -- his mobility is quite remarkable considering everything -- but he will face many difficult trials ahead as his military career winds down.

Speaking of career changes, I made a drawn out transition from studio grunt to full-time photojournalist. The promotion has not been void of blessings, though I miss many of the hubris-lite folks I worked with in the studio. Three months in news and I'm still wondering whether it's an appropriate fit for me. I thought I was a pretty cynical guy until I started working in news where a good day at the office usually means somebody was shot, killed, maimed or had their house burn down. There's nothing more distasteful than showing up at a person's front door because your assignment editor heard a 1079 call (coroner requested) only to have a police officer shoo you away because it was a natural death. And instead of informing people, we tend to just scare and alarm them. Perspective is anti-thetical to our news philosophy.

However, my new position has had its fair share of upside. The first is money. Hopefully by the time baseball comes around I will be watching Alfonso Soriano's Cubs debut in my own home. For a self-appointed loner like myself, having a place of my own is essential. The other blessing has been my induction into the revered Highlight Zone. Of all the things we do at KWQC, the Highlight Zone is the only thing that is guaranteed to be positive from top to bottom. It's a rush like no other and it's pretty much assurred I will be up until four in the morning on Friday nights, because it's quite the chore coming down from a night of Zoning.

A side benefit of getting into the Zone mix was finally being able to fulfill a childhood dream: producing the Rock Island Football highlight film. For those who didn't get it for Christmas in glorious DVD form -- you can check out a much blockier version on my MySpace page. Although I would advise you wait if you're ever going to watch the real thing.

So, that was pretty much my year. I'm sure I'm forgetting a handful of worthy anecdotes (ever tried to keep a camera steady while a tiger cub is pawing at your crotch?), but this was long enough. To finish up, I'll leave you with a list of my favorite blogs of the past year and five things I intend to do in 2007.

Happy New Year all. Don't be strangers.

Top 5 Blogs of 2007

1. The Hum
2. Garfield, Your Ass is Next
3. Identity Crisis: Am I Funny?
4. The Hot 111
5. Apparently, I Need a Girlfriend

Top 5 Resolutions for 2007

1. Buy a House
2. Finish the Sledding Syndicate Highlight Film
3. Remember Who Matters
4. Start My Brother's Book
5. Find a Girlfriend and End the Joke

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip 1.1 Review

In the interest of full disclosure, I must confess there's no show on television I want to succeed more than Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Excluding Shakespeare, there isn't a single writer I admire more than Aaron Sorkin. The first two exquisite seasons of The West Wing have no equal when it comes to smart, lyrical, storytelling, and things haven't been the same in television since Sorkin left the show after the fourth season. I am such an unabashed fan of the rhythms he weaves into his dialogue that I occasionally listen to the show in my car. Not watch. Just listen. That's how obsessive I am about Sorkin's gift with language. I mention this only because I can’t say with certainty whether the pilot for Studio 60 is as entertaining as I thought it was, or if I just need it to be as entertaining as I thought it was.

Speaking of a gift with language, that last sentence -- the polar opposite.

But I digress.

On paper, I can't imagine a more enticing show than Studio 60, a workplace drama that takes us behind the scenes of an SNLish sketch show. Not only do I get to once again revel in the symphony of a Sorkin teleplay, but he brought along director Thomas Schlamme whose walk-and-talk direction saved The West Wing from becoming a glorified stage play. Heading the cast are West Wing veteran Bradley Whitford and the most comically gifted Friends cast member (and another West Wing alum), Matthew Perry. With Amanda Peet, Tim Busfield, Steven Weber, and D.L. Hughley rounding out the cast, Studio 60 would appear to be a can't miss. But did all this talent work out to a compelling first episode?

Absolutely. While it didn't have the consistent excellence of The West Wing’s pilot (which is damn near impossible), it hit enough high notes to earn a spot on the top of my Must See list.
Sorkin can write a teaser like none other, and Studio 60 is no exception. After a pissing match with standards and practices, Studio 60's producer, Wes Mendel (Judd Hirsch), goes Peter Finch during a live broadcast, castigating the television industry for its cowardice and mediocrity. Sorkin and Schlamme show they still have remarkable creative synthesis as this opening scene starts slow then builds and builds until snap the credits roll. Not quite the same as the POTUS mystery featured in the West Wing pilots teaser, but just as dramatically satisfying.
Mendell's breakdown and subsequent firing forces a newly hired network president, Jordan McDeere (Amanda Peet) to find a quick solution to a serious problem on her first day. After a number of cinematic missteps (Saving Silverman, A Lot Like Love), I had forgotten what a talent Amanda Peet is. Here she delivers Sorkin's dialogue with aplomb, while maintaining an entertaining poise that shows her character is no stranger to playing rough with the boys -- in business anyway. Peet manages to show that she has the upper hand in every situation without coming off as a tyrant, and her coy smile is equal parts enticing and emasculating as she negotiates the hire of two former Studio 60 employees who have recently gained some notoriety on the big screen.

Enter Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford, or Matt and Danny -- a writer/director duo with no shortage of man-love between them. I drooled over this combination on paper, and was stunned to find that it plays better than I ever could have dreamed. The first scene with the two at the Writers Guild Awards (Matt gets a big win) has Sorkin, Perry, and Whitford all at the top of their games. The conversation involves back surgery and a relationship-killing Dodger game and it was the first time in the episode where I thought "Ok. This is going to be fun." This is buddy movie chemistry at its finest.

The rest of the show sets up the innumerable conflicts that will drive the show. Once again Sorkin has put a bunch of Type-A personalities into a confined space for open warfare. Amanda Peet's main foil is network bigwig Jack Rudolph (Steven Weber at his slimeball best), the man responsible for firing Matt and Danny in the first place. Naturally he has major issues with hiring them back. There's also the so-called "Big Three" of Studio 60: Simon Stiles (D.L. Hughley), Tom Jeter (Nathan Corddry), and Harriet Hayes (Sara Paulson). Hughley and Corddry don't see much action in the pilot, but Paulson gets her fair share of screen time as Matt's former flame. This will be the trickiest character for Sorkin to pull off -- a born again-Christian in the entertainment industry will be easy to stereotype -- but Paulson has an affable presence, so likeability shouldn't be an issue. And if The West Wing's Ainsley Hayes is any indication of what Sorkin can do with the "outsider," Harriet should be one of the more compelling characters on this exceptional show.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is funny, smart, and stylish, and should be considered "Can't Miss" by TV junkies everywhere.

Grade for Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: A-

Kidnapped 1.1 Review

When I caught the first promos for NBCs new show Kidnapped, I marveled at how similar the production seemed to Ransom, the Mel Gibson/Ron Howard vehicle from some years past. Rich couple's young son is abducted and taken to a seedy apartment with piss-stained walls while robot man calls rich couple to set up exchange. And of course, robot man warns rich couple not to call cops, but cops are called anyway, etc. In a somewhat shocking twist Delroy Lindo, who played the FBI agent who helped Mel Gibson hunt down his son, here is played by... what what? Delroy Lindo? Not the best first step in setting yourself apart.

Still, I heard good things about the show, and they've certainly put together a solid cast (even with Lindo recycling a part he played ten years ago). So, it was high on my list of new shows to check out. Well, thanks to a special agreement between Netflix and NBC, I got an early peek at the pilot for both Kidnapped and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (more on that show at a later date), and I'm a little sad to say that Kidnapped has slipped rather precipitously down the TiVo priority chain.

With 24 and Lost making serial television all the rage, the networks are requiring a huge investment of time for all these miss-an-episode-and-you're-lost programs, and for shameless serial television addicts like myself, there are only so many hours one can pencil in for TV while still keeping some sense of a life. In a given season some shows just aren't going to make the cut, and unfortunately, as with last year's Invasion, a slow start is an immediate death sentence. Invasion was in my top three favorite shows at the end of last year (with Lost and 24), but because of its slow and deliberate pacing over the course of the year, by the time the tremendous finale came down, nobody was watching. Point being, if a show wants to get ahead in a crowd of demanding new programs, it has to come out of the box like a bolt of lightning. Kidnapped fails to do that. Sure, it doesn't exactly trip over the starting line, but rather casually saunters, or moseys, if you will, out of the blocks.

The show wastes no time setting up the major plotline. After a superficial breakfast with the Cain family -- frosty and superficial parents Conrad and Ellie (Timothy Hutton and Dana Delany), precocious young daughter Alice (Lydia Jordan), and awkward, intelligent son Leopold (Will Denton) -- Leopold heads out for his day, sharing a handful of words with the enigmatic bodyguard Virgil (Mykelti Williamson) before a handful of mysterious men attack in a bluntly staged abduction.

The abduction, cold and abrupt, is the most compelling moment of the pilot. Unfortunately, the rest of the episode doesn't give us much desire to follow the story through. Despite a tremendous cast, the script doesn't bother to dredge up much humanity from its performers. Stoicism seemed to be the rule on-set, as if the director yelled "GRAVITAS!" before every take. Aside from one scene on the balcony between Ellie and rebel lawman Knapp (Jeremy Sisto), the cast walks around like lock-jawed zombies. I guess this is so everybody can have their moment in the suspect circle throughout the season, but it only serves to keep us at a distance from everyone on the screen.

So, if we can't get invested in the characters, how about the plot? Well, even that is fairly uninspired. Nearly everything in the pilot weve seen before. The two detectives -- one outside the law (Sisto) and the other by-the book (Lindo). The pregnant pauses when the phone rings so the detectives can run a trace. The robotic voice. "Don't call the cops." Blah blah blah. Kidnapped needed desperately to set itself apart from the hundreds of other kidnapping stories that have been done over the years from Law and Order to Ransom to Fox's Vanished. Unfortunately, its staging was fairly pedestrian, and even a little stupid. In the final act, the detectives bungle an exchange so badly its mind-boggling. Viewers could see it was a set-up from the word go, but that didn't seem to occur to anyone within the story. This was stupid stupid, on the level of the prom queen walking into a dark room in a slasher picture.

After the exchange, I expected some nasty twist or cliff-hanger to close out the episode, something that might leave me itching to know what happens next. Instead, we get a contemplative montage of Knapp staring out the window. Not exactly 24 level thrills here. Nothing I'm dying to revisit either.

Grade for Kidnapped 1.1: C

My TiVo: Fall 2006

It's that time of year again; a new season of television is on the horizon. Here's a look at what I'll be watching this fall.

The first show to return is Fox's Prison Break (Aug 21). Probably the biggest success out of last year's new shows, Prison Break built a sizable audience with its compelling tale of a young man deliberately putting himself in prison to break his electric-chair-bound brother out. With some charismatic performances and a twisty plot, this show seemed well on its way to joining the likes of 24 and Lost with all its maddening turns. However, by the end of last season the wheels started spinning as the show's creators repeatedly (often ludicrously) disrupted the escape plan so they could save it for the season finale. Like The OC last year, Prison Break is high up on my DVR cut list based on the decline in quality it suffered after its extended break in the winter. The big finale left me especially cold when the carefully deliberate plan they spent the entire season constructing gets tossed completely out the window in favor of a backyard scramble. There were questions about how this show could continue after the inmates broke out, and despite the addition of Invasion's William Fichtner to the cast (my big Emmy snub this year), those questions must be answered rather quickly if I'm going to find room for this show in my already packed viewing schedule.

Fox continues its jump-start on the competition with House (Sept 5). I have almost as intense an aversion to procedurals as I do to reality television, but thanks to consistently fantastic writing and Hugh Laurie's nasty wit, this show transcends its genre like none other. Lulling us into a rhythm with a standard story structure, House occasionally breaks the mold with fantastic episodes, that are often some of the best of any show on television. House is always entertaining and occasionally, as in season one's "Three Stories" and last season's "The Mistake" and finale "No Reason," it's exquisite.

We'll have to deal with Prison Break and House until the deliciously disturbing Nip/Tuck (Sept 15) returns to F/X. One of the shows I caught up with on DVD this summer, I was immediately drawn into this morally repugnant, yet impossibly involving drama about two plastic surgeons. Fascinating for all the reasons it should be repulsive (graphic surgeries, deviant sexuality, outrageous plotting), Nip/Tuck hides a well-acted, well-written, psychologically complex show behind a screen of vanity and gloss -- just like the topic it skewers.

The next week will be big, with the return of ABC powerhouse Grey's Anatomy (Sept 21) on its new night Thursday. Joining the party will be My Name is Earl and The Office that both debut on the same night. Grey's Anatomy continues to surprise me with its emotional depth and wonderful writing. Though I'm leery of returning to the McDreamy/Meredith drama, this show has consistently managed to treat hackneyed storylines with remarkable care and refreshing creativity. Meanwhile, the only two comedies on my list thanks to the departure of Arrested Development and the delay of Scrubs, I was introduced to these two marvelously smart shows thanks to my job at an NBC affiliate -- the studio crew goes into lockdown when The Office and Earl are on the air. Though I'm hoping to catch-up on the DVDs before they start -- I've only caught a handful of episodes in reruns -- they're worth mentioning in this list.

Finally the newly formed CW makes its debut with Smallville (Sept 28). Smallville continues to grow up as the stakes get higher and higher for our Man of Steel in training, and the influences around him get darker and darker. With a war with Zod on the horizon, Lex going full-blown evil, and the debut of the Green Arrow and Jimmy Olsen looming, there is already plenty to look forward to this season.

We'll have to wait a bit longer for Lost (Oct 4). After a somewhat meandering sophomore season, Lost's final four episodes wrapped up with so many revelations it left viewers' heads spinning. Much like the first season, I found myself questioning whether the writers had any idea what they were doing, but after reviewing several episodes following the finale's stunning revelations I'm once again ashamed of my doubt. There's no show I'm looking forward to more than Lost. With the honorable Desmond and the chilling Henry Gale joining the cast as regulars, there's even more incentive to watch. My only concern, based on season two's issues, is that the cast will get so large that many characters will be slighted for long periods of time (Sayeed being one of the most egregious). Another thing worth mentioning, because of the complaints regarding Losts repeat issues, the suits at ABC have decided to cut the season in half. This fall we'll get a six episode mini-season (with an agonizing cliff-hanger in November), and then Lost will disappear until January, when it will return with 16 uninterrupted episodes. I'm very much in favor of this, if only to give myself more time to catch-up on other shows.

Finally, a revamped Veronica Mars (Oct 3) goes to college. After the somewhat convoluted mystery in season two, the creators have decided to break the show up into smaller, more concise mysteries for season three. This will hopefully help the rating-challenged show gather some steam on its new network, The CW. It got an initial order of 13 episodes, and hopefully this new format will allow it to gain some new viewers and expand that order as the season moves along. We don't know much about this season, other than it will see Veronica heading to higher education and may involve a serial rapist we learned of in season two.

I guess I should mention The OC (November), though it looks like this year's Alias, what with the declining ratings, reduced episode order, and desperate cast realignments. I'll keep my eye on this one, but it really hurts watching a show I used to love in its death throes.

So those are the returning shows. Here are the new ones I plan on giving a shot:

Vanished (Aug 21) involves the disappearance of a Senators wife.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (Sept 18) marks the return of Aaron Sorkin to television. I hope this show finds an audience if only so I can relish in the symphony of words that is a Sorkin script. With Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford leading the cast, on paper this is a dream show for me.

Kidnapped (Sept 20) follows the abduction of a rich kids son. Consider it Ransom-redux. Great cast. Slick look. But will the mystery grab hold? And will people be able to keep it straight with Vanished?

Six Degrees (Sept 21) separate six strangers in a new drama by the producers of Lost and Alias. Good cast. Good pedigree. Worth a look.

Heroes (Sept 25) jumps on the serialized mythology bandwagon with a handful of ordinary folk discovering they have super powers. Again a good cast with Alias' Greg Grunberg and Remember the Titans wunderkind Hayden Panettiere, but I've grown skeptical of this show over the summer. Apparently the creator doesn't have a plan for where the show will ultimately lead and the show is oppressively downbeat. No plan and no sense of humor = short commitment from yours truly.

Friday Night Lights (Oct 3) will likely be the biggest hit of the new fall crop. That's my prediction anyway. This show drips Americana. If it matches the tone of the book and film, keeping it away from the Varsity Blues frat-boy nonsense, it should have the broadest demographic of any show this year. Anxiously awaiting this one.

The Nine (Oct 4) follows a group of people who survive a hostage standoff in a bank. Like Lost, each episode will reveal ten minutes of the standoff. Marks Tim Daly's return to TV after a charming turn in the disappointing Eyes. Hopefully this one will give him a little more to do.

Other notes: A new season of Battlestar Galatica can't come soon enough. Same for The Shield. I'm going to try and get through Supernatural on DVD, so that might get added to the list. Plus Scrubs and 24 will be coming next year.

Shows for Andrew to Remember: House (Sept 5), Lost (Oct 4), Friday Night Lights (Oct 3), Kidnapped (Sept 20)

Shows for Andrew to Watch on DVD (Netflix): Battlestar Galactica, Prison Break, House, Smallville, The Shield, Nip/Tuck

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby Review

The funniest joke in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is on the audience. Or at least that segment of the audience with patchwork jackets and block numbers on their baseball caps. While this movie may appear to be a stamp of validation for an oft-ridiculed segment of American society -- a sort of Passion of the Christ for the gearhead set -- it is in fact one of the more hilarious and sneakier parodies Hollywood could have come up with.

Nobody can argue that there are very few targets more primed for skewering than Nascar culture. Talladega could have easily stumbled over the sheer ease of it all, but very little of the humor comes from attacking Nascar overtly. Will Ferrell, who plays the titular character, and his team are more clever and underhanded. Instead of a long rant on the silliness of a sport where the competitors go round and round a circle, they merely exemplify the simplemindedness of it all in Ricky Bobby's favorite childhood catch-phrase: "I want to go fast." Ferrell and crew are working the ribs of racing fans here. After all, they're going to be a big part of the box office this weekend. However, they deliver quite the knock-out blow in the final minutes of the film, a moment of pure comedy that will have those God-fearin’ good-ole boys squirming in their seats. It was one of the purest joys I’ve had in a theater in a long time.

Talladega Nights is a more straight-forward presentation than we’re used to from Ferrell. He dispensed with much of the winking humor prevalent in Weddings Crashers and Anchorman. There are no cameos by Vince Vaughn or Ben Stiller. It’s basically shot as a standard biopic, and it’s by far Ferrell’s most consistent character to date. Of course, when much of your character development comes from white trash maxims like “I want to go fast” and “If you’re not first, you’re last” it’s fairly easy to stay consistent, because you don’t have to go very deep.

And that’s how we like Ferrell. Channeling his long-retired George W impression, Ferrell gives us another likable buffoon who we follow through a meteoric rise, a catastrophic fall, and of course, the redeeming return. Surrounded by another solid ready-and-willing cast, we’re immediately pulled into this haphazard family who pulls its dinner straight off Ricky’s bumper stickers -- KFC, Domino’s Pizza, and PowerAde (Ricky has an endorsement deal that requires he mention PowerAde whenever he says grace). Ricky has a “tractor beam of hotness” for a wife, played with inspiring commitment by Leslie Bibb, a BFF racing partner, the shake to his bake, played by John C. Reilly, and two mouthy sons who threaten to beat the piss out of their grandfather. The first scene we get of the family together, with an extended improvised debate regarding the family’s favorite Jesus (Baby Jesus, Grown Up Jesus, Ninja Jesus) is one of the funniest scenes I’ve witnessed in a long time, and I’m fairly certain I didn’t catch everything there was.

Things go well for Ricky Bobby until the arrival of Jean Girard (Sacha Baron Cohen), a gay, French, Formula One driver who immediately comes in and steals Ricky’s spotlight as the best Nascar driver alive. In one of the most surreal moments in my years of film going, the crowd in my theater booed when Girard revealed his home country. Actually booed. In interviews, Cohen said that the character was designed to be everything a typical Nascar fan would hate. Judging by the reaction of the crowd, I’d say they succeeded. I’d love to know how these same people dealt with the twist at the end of the film.

I’ve become a big fan of Anchorman over the past couple years, and I enjoyed Talladega a lot more than I enjoyed Anchorman the first time around. The entire cast, notably Reilly, Cohen, and Gary Cole (who plays Bobby's derelict daddy) play off Ferrell as well as his sidekicks in Anchorman, and the lack of asides and winks at the camera were a nice respite from the usual self-referential style of this comedy crew. If this film follows along the lines of Old School and Anchorman, getting better with repeat viewings, we’ve got another must have for the DVD shelf. Fun stuff.

Final Grade: B (likely to improve over time)

Three Things to Do to Kill Time

Since my lazy ass was laid off for nearly four months, I became an expert on killing time. So, here are three things I used to get me through my unfortunate unemployment (keep in mind -- at least you‘re still getting paid):

1. Join Netflix -- Two things we both love -- movies and mail. This way you get the best of both worlds every couple days. Though I rarely use Netflix for movies anymore, it’s still a great deal and it’ll save you a boatload of money on DVDs. I know you and I used to just buy them like packs of gum, but this way you shouldn’t have to. However, the first thing you should have in your Netflix Queue are the first two seasons of Battlestar Galactica (the second half of season two comes out in September). It’s tied with Lost and 24 as the best show on television. No. I’m not kidding.

2. Buy a PS2. With all the money you’re going to save on DVDs, you can easily afford the hundred bucks or so the system is going for now. Plus, the best thing about getting a PS2 now, is that you have an entire backlog of titles that run for $20 or less including Final Fantasy X & X-2, Kingdom Hearts, Dragon Quest (formerly known as Dragon Warrior), God of War, and the Sly Cooper Series. If you play those games to their full potential, they should get you through a month or two -- long enough for the Nintendo Wii to completely take over your life.

3. And finally -- walk Maddux. He’s got that look in his eye.

Whoever Said No New Is Good News Should Be Smacked

Apparently, according to some friends and family, I’ve been neglecting my duty as press secretary and disappointing the new fan base my brother recently garnered. On the contrary, I was very aware of the five days this blog has gone without update. Unfortunately, that lack of information for you fine people was not a result of my own sloth, but rather my brother’s noncommittal doctors. Simply put, there’s been nothing on the blog, because there’s been nothing to tell. Andrew has had a handful of doctor’s appointments and therapy sessions, but none that lead to any clarification of his future physically, militarily, or otherwise. The dragging out of this whole process is starting to wear thin. I’m at home getting grouchier by the day, and I’m certain my family isn’t doing much better in San Antonio. However, Andrew meets with his orthopedic specialist tomorrow, and if there is an appointment that has real significance, it is this one (although we said that about the day he got to San Antonio, too). So, hopefully, I’ll get some news tomorrow afternoon, and if I do, I’ll be sure to pass it on to the rest of you here.